out of egypt, into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and i shake the dirt from my sandals as i run

Monday, July 17, 2006

five songs

ratatat - lex
what the world needs now is ratatat sweet ratatat (new album in a month)

final fantasy - song song song
from the very fine LP "he poos clouds"

team9 - what's going on yeah
(marvin gaye / flaming lips)
oh my god it is a hundred fucking degrees outside.

rogue wave - are you on my side
I just got this album! it's really pretty

hot chip - colours
every song this band writes is about tostitos and salsa. isn't that crazy? also false though.

p.s. josh wanted me to link to his flickr. ok.

the girl talk game

I had a Five Songs post ready for today, but there's better shit going on in the universe. I'll do it later.

today's pitchfork has a review of the new full-length by girl talk - they claim it "detonates" everything anyone knew about mashups. what they mean is that instead of using two or three or four songs in a single mashup, girl talk uses somewhere between twenty and a billion, depending on the track.

now, I'm as annoyed as the next guy by any artist that pitchfork takes it upon itself to crown the nextbigthang. and I resent their calls for the death of the old-school mashup. fuck yall. BUT - I find this stuff eminently listenable. it's fun, and hilarious, and skillfull as hell, and it's also kind of a new game.

most of the thrill of mashups, for me, comes from the reveal - the moment when you realize what the other song is, or how they're juxtaposing and aligning one's chorus with another's bridge. you know, the "OH NO HE DIDN'T" moment. on a girl talk track, there are fifty reveals per song, more each time you listen. as the pitchfork review notes, trying to guess every sample is a fruitless game - but it's a game nonetheless. a good one.

girl talk - hold up
here's what I can get: ludacris - number one spot. fitty - in da club. pixies - where is my mind. nas - hate me now. d4l - laffy taffy. weezer - say it ain't so. there must be 15 more.

girl talk - bounce that
lcd soundystem, breeders, britney (I think), elastica? (this one is harder.)

anyway, good luck

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

more shit that happened to my car

oh baby.

on saturday I was in the berkshires.

dave opened the back window of my car, and it wouldn't close.

garbage-bagging the window wasn't an option. I had to find a place that could fix it.

I found one in lenox. it was saturday, they weren't technincally open - just drinking in the parking lot - but they offered to do it.

they probably weren't even that drunk

they ripped the door panel off.

part of me thought I'd find my game boy in there

the mechanism inside was broken, and unfixable. oh well. we decided we'd just close the window permanently.

but what could we use to prop it up?

oh. what about that piece of wood lying over there.

yeah, why the fuck not.

fountains of wayne - survival car

google update

let me clarify. before last week, no one had ever actually tried googling "five giant penises" or "maybe ludacris is a carjacker." as far as I know. I came up with all my I'm Feeling Luckys through trial and error. sorry guys. I know you think the world is a wacky place, but it ain't so. (of course, now 5-10 people a day are google searching "whorey prostislut" and "tha dargz." this is gonna catch up with me in a bad way, isn't it.)

BUT. browsing through my hit paths yesterday, I did find that someone googled their way to me with "kim stoltz mtvu" (no quotes). checking it out, I found that I am indeed the #1 match for this, thanks to a comment ben left a month ago. we need to discuss this.

kim, in case you didn't go to college with me, was the first member of the wesleyan class of '05 to break through to the famousphere. this was a huge letdown for me, because I had gotten 3-to-1 odds on max goldblatt, and 7-to-1 on the members of the management, and that's pretty good, so I took them both.

season 5 of america's next top model didn't air until months after graduation. bottom line, I'm out 50 bucks.

anyway, just in case more of you find your way here, I want to disclaim this shit up front. The Laws Have Changed Dot Blogspot Dot Com is not a reliable source of kim stoltz news, gossip or information. try totes umbrellas. wait, they're not a blog anymore. I guess you could try refining your search.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

king of goog

So I've been using a hit tracker recently to see how people get to my blog. Most visitors come through the Hype Machine, but some also come through the standard search engines. Last week someone got here by googling info on Akshay Kumar's son Araav. Cute kid. Read the archives.

Then I got curious to see what google search terms send you here, and I found out that I'm much more googlable than I suspected. Below, I put together a list of google searches for which this blog is the first match. FIRST. As in I'm Feeling Lucky first. Anyway, they should give you a good idea of what the laws have changed is all about. And hopefully, they'll solidify my place at the top of those results pages. Without further adee:

maybe ludacris is a carjacker

whorey prostislut

dit dit dit on ya mobile phone

joss whedon class of 87

tha dargz

"five giant penises"

average-sized bottle of jack

molly chafetz

"kickin buffalo chicken sandwich"

more mashups

Monday, July 03, 2006

I love this

"My name is Dan Harmon. Years ago I bought a plastic female leg from a mannequin warehouse. I found that by dressing it in pantyhose and rubbing the toe on my nipple while I thought about my ex-girlfriends having sex with other men, I could bring myself to orgasm. Afterwards I become intensely depressed for twenty minutes. But I also become a human lynx, capable of great speeds, and leaping great distances. I try to use my power to help people."