I love this

"My name is Dan Harmon. Years ago I bought a plastic female leg from a mannequin warehouse. I found that by dressing it in pantyhose and rubbing the toe on my nipple while I thought about my ex-girlfriends having sex with other men, I could bring myself to orgasm. Afterwards I become intensely depressed for twenty minutes. But I also become a human lynx, capable of great speeds, and leaping great distances. I try to use my power to help people."

http://www.channel101.com/shows/view.php?media_id=1764