out of egypt, into the Great Laugh of Mankind, and i shake the dirt from my sandals as i run

Thursday, June 22, 2006

the hardest puzzle ever

I need you to take me seriously for a minute.

You need to look me in the eye, and you need to listen to the story I'm about to tell you. You're going to want to turn away and scoff, but please. It is important that you listen to me. I need this.

So the other day I was at a Friendly's in NJ, getting ready to order my usual, the Kickin Buffalo Chicken Sandwich (yes I have a "usual" at Friendly's and I said DON'T LAUGH). They make you wait forever (part of the Friendly charm), but helpfully, they had games and activities for the kids.


I was having a pretty great time finding what the differences were between the two different-colored divers, but then I noticed something. Something amazing , something revolutionary.


also the name of my fave j-porn actress

I got right to work on that shit. But...wait. What? What the fuck!!!!!!!!!! This isn't sudoku!!!! This is something totally not sudoku!!!

Check it out. You need to make sure each row and column adds up to 22, using the numbers 0-9 only once each. Not counting the numbers that are already there! Whatever. You can read the directions yourself. Here's my point:

I can't figure out how to solve this. I mean, you can definitely complete it, after a few minutes of trial and error (as Molly Chafetz did, easily, minutes after I declared it "impossible!!!!!!"). But in sudoku, and in most puzzles that look like this, there's a way to figure it out logically, methodically, without just trying a bunch of possibilities. And when you're at Friendly's, and you only have crayons, trial and error isn't the most attractive course of action. I couldn't figure it out!!

Confession. I was really good at math and logic-related stuff in high school. And then I learned to smoke pot. Classic American sob story. It could be that 18-year-old me would've figured this out right quick, but I got nothing, and it makes me pine for my lost youth (brain).

So? Anyone?

p.s. I'm about to hit my 1000th blogger profile view! a totally meaningless milestone, but yippee!!


Anonymous Stizzle said...

marijuana is not a drug. you still hold a realityn of life.

6/23/2006 1:57 PM

Anonymous astro-b said...

You're still ordering Kickin' Buffalo? Is it still that same fluorescent orange color?

6/23/2006 3:24 PM

Blogger Ben said...

hey man just stopping by, i really dug your profile, keep it up

6/23/2006 8:45 PM

Blogger Brian said...

The color of the sandwich is the same, especially if you order it with extra Kickin'

6/26/2006 11:02 PM


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