story hour

came home restless tonight. didn't want to go to sleep, didn't want to read or watch tv. thought maybe i wanted to eat- went across the street to the bulletproof chinese place and got some hot and sour soup. no good. it was of the too-hot, not-sour variety, and it turned out i wasn't hungry anyway.

it was gross

earlier i'd got a text from dave, subtly suggesting...something. couldn't be sure. it was a cryptic and veiled message.

from a cryptic and veiled douchebag!

so, options exhausted, i turned back here. and here i am. oh blogging, you maiden of the night! blogging, you whore! you slut! slutty whore! whorey prostislut! i forgot what i was talking about.

doesn't matter. so what stories do I have to bestow upon thee, deareth reader? lessee:

week before last, visiting wesleyan for graduation weekend, I found myself drunk under a giant tent with a few friends and a thousand strangers. i had my camera; the stage was set for something to happen that I could photograph at a canted angle.

and that was when i saw joss whedon, wesleyan class of '87, creator of buffy the vampire slayer and firefly, writer of toy story and the dialogue in Speed (imdb does not confirm this but someone TOLD me that!), dancing. not casually moving. DAHNCING (by himself). I snapped my photo and ran.

yeeah boy

for the next half hour i buzzed around and showed the photo to every friend and sort-of-friend i could find. about every third person told me this: "you gotta get a picture of you and him!" a fine idea, maybe. to some. but no. I was drunk, yes, but not that drunk. (wait for it.) YET.

the moment when my hundredth beer began to kick in coincided more or less with the exact moment that joss whedon emerged from the crowd to walk right by me. mid-conversation with whoever, I made a noise ("be right back" but compressed into one syllable if you can imagine what that would sound like) and dashed off to step into his path. and then:

me: joss whedon '87!!! (i swear to god i addressed him like this)
jw: hey
me: hey joss whedon i was wondering if i could get a picture with you!
jw: totally
me: awesome thanks!!
jw: i'm shitfaced (again, i swear to god.)
me: thank you so much!!!

I won't post the photo here, because he looks bad and I look worse. but the picture does exist, and if you're my friend on facebook, you can find it in my photo album. a little reward for being someone who knows me in real life. though if you're one of my readers whom i've never met, i want you to know: i still love you. dearly. if indeed you exist.


and finally: this guy stood in front of me at a concert in new jersey.

click it, it's a movie

i'm hollywood steve, goodnight.